Yoplait Greek 100 Calories: An exercise in futility

The first time I tried Greek yogurt, I almost threw up. Nobody told me the plain tasted like sour cream. I stayed away for a long time until discovering the flavored varieties. Now, I prefer Greek yogurt to other styles. The thickness fills me up, and I'm usually good until lunch.

Yoplait Greek 100 is gluten-free. I assumed that all yogurts were, but turns out that's not the case. If you are gluten-sensitive, you should definitely stay away from yogurts that come with granola, but you probably knew that already.

Yoplait Greek 100 also prides itself that it is only 2 Weight Watchers points per cup! It's right there, on the label!

How useful! Is it though?

Everyone I know who either is or was on Weight Watchers has encyclopedic knowledge of how many points are in everything ever. I think they plant a chip in your brain at the first meeting. No one's confirmed or denied yet.

I love key lime anything, and Dannon Oikos' key lime is lick-the-cup-clean good. Not that I do that (yes I do). Yoplait's... not so much. It's definitely lime-ish, but not as decadent as Dannon. I know it's because of the reduced calories, but does it have to be so obvious? I couldn't finish it.

The black cherry was really good until I ate the awesomely
huge cherry pieces and was left with the yogurt. 

The peaches looked and tasted like those fruit cups you ate
as a kid.

Vanilla was sort of tasteless and white, not worth a photo (that's racist).

Lemon was my favorite, and the only one I finished because it froze in the back of my refrigerator. It was like a mediocre Italian ice, which is way better than a disappointing yogurt.

Mamma mia, I'm a horrible yogurt!

All flavors were runny (except the frozen lemon), and left a weird gritty feeling in my mouth.

ShopRite was out of strawberry, mixed berry and "tropical", which means people are buying and presumably enjoying this stuff. Maybe they ironically hate-eat it, who knows. I guess I'll try them some day, since that's the point of this blog, but I'm in no hurry.

Koru Kare Package

A tongue twister:

Koru kindly commissioned a care package complete with copious coupons.

As a thank you for last week's review, Koru sent me a bunch of free yogurt coupons. How cool is that?

I could be selfish and keep them all for myself, but where's the fun in that? If you want to try some FREE yogurt, leave a comment with your email address. I'll get in touch and mail you a coupon. I'll even pay for the stamp. Who says there's no such thing as a free meal?

Act now, supplies are limited!

Koru: Super creamy, no bull!

I knew I was in for a treat when the cashier at ShopRite exclaimed, "I LOVE this yogurt!"

According to Wikipedia, a koru is a spiral shape that symbolizes perpetual movement and new life. The folks at Koru Dairy in Minnesota seem to be inspired by this shape, based on the "O" in their name. Perhaps their plan is to bring new life to the yogurt (sorry, yoghurt) market?

Their slogan and fledgling website are both adorable. Cartoon cows, squee!

Koru is layered. Not exactly earth-shattering; lots of yogurts have fruit on the bottom.

But wait! Koru uses fruit purée. Completely smooth, no fruit pieces at all.

It. Was. Delicious! Koru uses cream in addition to milk (hence "creamery style yoghurt"). I felt like I was eating a fruity dessert, not breakfast. Ain't nothin' wrong with that.

I've been on a huge mango kick lately, so of course I loved the mango. The passion fruit was also good. At first, I longed for Chobani's crunchy seeds, but I think they and other fruit pieces would distract from the decadent creaminess.

ShopRite was sold out of the other flavors, but I hope they restock soon because I'm in LOVE.

Cute stuff, an engaging social media presence (they refer to themselves and their fans as their "herd"), and kick ass yogurt. Well done, Koru. I'm a fan! When ShopRite gets their shit together, I'll be sure to check out the rest of your flavors.

Emmi Swiss Yogurt

I'd heard of Greek yogurt, but Swiss?

Emmi uses rBST-free milk, something I don't recall ever reading on a yogurt container before. Does it affect anything? I don't know. Emmi is not organic, but I do appreciate the all-natural angle.

Both Emmi flavors I tried are rich and creamy; moreso than WholeSoy, but not as thick as Greek yogurt.

Raspberry: Great flavor, lots of berry puree. Between the berries and the chia seeds I put on top, I was picking at my teeth for the rest of the day. Sexy.

Green Apple: Green apples are my least favorite apples. They're way too tart for me to eat raw. I wouldn't even eat green Jolly Ranchers as a kid, which in middle school is akin to social suicide. Needless to say, I was curious how I'd feel about this yogurt. Emmi strikes a nice balance between the tart apple pieces and creamy yogurt. I ate it plain, but if I buy it again, I may add a little cinnamon and pretend it's a pie smoothie.

Apple piece on the left

Black Cherry: I really enjoyed the large cherry pieces. The yogurt itself had a subtle cherry flavor too. Other black cherry varieties I've tried are plain or vanilla yogurt with pieces of fruit, so this was a nice change.

I was looking forward to trying the rest of the flavors this week (except pink grapefruit -- blech), but ShopRite doesn't seem to carry Emmi anymore. Bummer!

WholeSoy & Co. - Apricot Mango

Disclaimer:
I'm not vegan.
Yes, I love animals.
No, I won't watch Food, Inc. and you can't make me.
Bacon.

Photo credit: WholeSoy

My first yogurt experiment was with WholeSoy & Co.'s Apricot Mango. I had a coupon, otherwise I probably would've picked something else. Soy yogurt just sounds wrong. I went into this one with low expectations.

WholeSoy claims that many people are surprised to learn that they're dairy-free, but I could tell right away. It looked like yogurt, was creamy like yogurt, but it wasn't yogurt as I knew it. To be honest, I didn't like the first spoonful at all. I nearly threw it away, but then I thought...

It doesn't taste like dairy yogurt because there's no dairy. That's why people buy it, you big dummy. -Me, to myself

It's unfair and unrealistic to expect a food containing no dairy to taste exactly like something with dairy. It's like expecting a veggie burger to taste like beef. It's just not going to happen. But if you keep this in mind, you may surprise yourself and enjoy the food for what it is. Like I did with this yogurt. WholeSoy knows they're not dairy, and they rock it. The apricot and mango flavors are there and are tasty, but don't overpower to mask the non-dairyness.

WholeSoy won't turn me vegan, but I liked it enough that I'll try their other flavors. After tweeting their praises, they recommend the key lime.

With this new attitude, I now want to try other vegan foods. The Vegan Store has a mind-boggling selection of dairy and meat alternatives, as does my local supermarket. I'll happily take any recommendations from vegans and non-vegans alike!